You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
