I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
