and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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