I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
