You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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