google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
And then he peed in my hair
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