Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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