Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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