You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
