u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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