i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
