I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
