He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
