i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So much Jack, so little girl.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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