I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
