susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
