Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
