At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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