yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
