he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
