those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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