It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Boobs speak an international language.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
