We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
