How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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