Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
