I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
