is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
