grandma shit on top of the toilet
What did we do last night that was yellow?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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