got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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