I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think a kid would responsible me up
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
