I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
