Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
