physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize