i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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