And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
two words...techno handjob
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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