I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
