She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
