guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I want you more than these girls want KFC
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
When are your genitals available?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
