I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
