Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
