I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
