mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize