Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
