well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
