He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
