You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize