lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
