Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
