my sisters under your porch take her home
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
