I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you win again, gameday.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
