He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
