so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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