I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
