Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize